“Safe sex is great sex, so you betta use a latex.” -Lil Wayne

Happy Black Love Day Y’all!

I don’t remember what song that Lil Wayne lyric is from, but I wanna diiiiiiive in….

Let me start by saying emotionally secure attachment is paramount to feeling safe and vulnerable enough to let go with your partner and experience better sex. 

So other than a condom, what is needed for mind-blowingly safe sex? Intimacy and Emotional Security.

Intimacy requires individuals to be able to know what they need from their relationships. That is only achieved through self awareness. How much do you know about situations that bring up unpleasant memories and emotions? Do you come from a background with adverse childhood experiences such as divorce or family disruption? Has the divorce of your caregivers affected how you view marriage? Discussing childhood influences are important topics of conversation to have with current and future partners because stress, anxiety, and distractions are a direct correlation to decreased sexual desire. 

What exactly are we trying to achieve with intimacy and the push for growth in our relationships? Emotional Security AKA Emotional Safety. That’s where the “Safe sex is great sex,” comes in….Emotionally safe sex can be great. 

An emotionally secure relationship demonstrates trust, respect, acceptance, empathy, and reciprocity. If some of these traits are lacking in a relationship, the individual or all parties involved could be thrown off balance. 

When we have trust, respect, acceptance, empathy, and reciprocity, we are able to accept limitations, trust our partners have our best interests at heart, and demonstrate a form of vulnerability that opens the window to better sexual responses and erotic experiences.

Wanna learn more about how you can increase sexual desire and intimacy? Schedule with me and we can explore historical and current behavioral patterns. Also, follow me on IG @arisecounseling.