When Affirmations Just Won’t Cut It: Toxic Positivity VS The World

I am worthy

I am growing

I am amazing

Yeah. I believe we are all these things, but life also comes at us with the shits and then we are left with the dilemma of how to deal with our emotions. Toxic Positivity would tell us to continue on the “Good Vibes Only” train. The problem with this is we tend to try and push down our true emotions in order to remain on the train. When we stuff down our emotions they don’t just stay wherever we direct them to go. Our emotions and feelings show up and show out in many different ways. Some of us experience psychosomatic symptoms like frequent headaches, back pain, or that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach. Some of us feel a bit of rage. Some of us may feel overwhelmed and spend days and days in bed. Either way, our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions are going to make themselves known. 

It’s not our fault we gravitate towards the toxic realm of positivity. I believe it started with that beloved nursery rhyme, “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands”. There were no other feelings or emotions given to us. How do we know if we are simply feeling happy? What if I had a good amount of pensiveness shooting through my body? you know what, from now on If I’m pensive and I know it I will most definitely let you all know by clapping my hands. 

As we move forward in our adult lives, the better option is to acknowledge how you feel and work on healthy ways to reduce that feeling or emotion. There are lots of different options out there: dancing, singing, or going for a walk. Sometimes feelings and emotions can linger. That’s when AND comes in. I first learned of the idea behind “and” while listening to Judi Holler’s audiobook, “Fear Is My Homeboy”. The basic gist is to feel the negative thoughts, then add “and”. For example, I am a work in progress and I am (still) worthy or I am struggling right now and I am going to knock this presentation out of the park. Two things can be true at the same time. With this concept you are allowing yourself to be the complex being that you are. You are allowing yourself to experience the emotions and opening a window for more positive experiences to flow in due time. You are also simply reminding yourself you are the shit when life comes flying your way. To sum all of this up, when we choose to acknowledge our emotions we have chosen not to settle for toxic positivity and the added symptoms it can bring our way. 

Until next time,

Reketta